Challenge Numero Uno. Two days ago I made Jayme what I thought would be a first-challenge worthy sandwich. This bad-but-healthy boy had layers of turkey, lettuce, tomato, homemade pickles, jalapeños, cheese, and chipotle mayo carefully balanced on a middle slice of multigrain loaf of bread we got (for free!) at the Minnetonka Farmer's Market.
But I knew I needed more if I wanted to give my boyfriend a run (subconsciously, runs?) for the money, so I added a pile of tortilla chips and a half-cup of salsa I recently picked up at the Apple Store on Highway 169 (think Peanut Log, not iPod). It is called Blair’s Salsa and says “XXX Hot” on the label, which also features a skull, flames and a photo of its googley-eyed creator. This all seemed pretty standard until I spilled a little on the counter and seconds later felt my eyes burn...
Just as I suspected Jayme took down the sandwich in about 3 bites (what is wrong with him?!?), and it was on to the salsa. We decided the best approach would be to take a shot of tequila and take it down as fast as possible. With just a couple coughs, some sweat, and a quick salute to Señor Bombér, HE DID IT. He then drank a half jar of pickle juice to “cool the badness” and all seemed well.
False. Ten minutes later, at approximately 1400 hours on August 30, 2010, catastrophe struck. The attack on the stomach of steel was from both ends and involved several messy battles, which lasted for hours. Luckily there was only one casualty – Old Blue, our toilet. (Actually, we think it spontaneously combusted from the humidity.)
Jokes aside, I felt like a real asshole (whoops), cried, and told him I was calling off any future challenges. However, being in the running for The Most Interesting Man in the World, he insists on there being more. Maybe less heat and more meat? Stay tuned.
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